How to Explain That You Like Cars to the Disinterested

"Jim Zeigler" (jimzeigler) 05/09/2015 at 09:45 • Filed to: None

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“Cars? Your hobby is cars? So, like, you’re into money and stuff? My neighbor has a Maserati.”

No, not exactly. The above quote is my paraphrasing of an oft-held conversation between numerous ex-girlfriends and acquaintances regarding my hobby of choice. You can’t blame them, though; answering such an inquiry with an ambiguous answer like “ cars ” invites suspicion. A response like “ deep house music ” or “ Duck Dynasty ” immediately ushers you into a realm of black-and-white understanding, even if it may inspire revulsion. The !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! is a coherent one – replace “cars” with anything else that’s viewed as a commodity (like !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ) and you’ll understand the apprehension.

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Life is basically broken up into three sections: work, sleep, and the space between the two. This is a strong argument for having both an excellent mattress and bearable employment. Though it’s a minority member of our mortal coil’s triumvirate, “spare time” is arguably the most crucial of the three. The allocation of time to our interests is how many of us define our identities. And assigning a major portion of this time towards the research of an object, maneuvering said object at high speeds around unnecessary curves and/or cones, or working on old versions of this object, is an invitation to criticism.

To have a hobby is to do something, like mountain biking or crocheting. It may include the use of an object or tool, but the focus is on the action being performed. Plus, to repeat what is lamented frequently in many auto publications, a growing majority of people look at transportation as an inconvenient necessity tinted with materialism and assholery. The population as a whole gives less of a shit about driving dynamics than they do infotainment and Facebook integration. So it goes.

I’m not ranting against this, because doing so is about as played-out as Hozier or comparing acceleration times to a modern V6 Camry. It’s also completely futile, as I believe cars are soon destined to !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . Instead, I appreciate the modern era’s lack of auto enthusiasm as a yardstick of sorts: oh, so this is why people don’t get the “car” answer. When you think you may be a weirdo, nothing is more liberating than the realization that you actually are one.

So how do you “do” cars (and not in the “ !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ” sense)? Or more specifically, how do you explain to someone that you’re a car enthusiast in a nuanced way that doesn’t frighten and confuse them? It’s tricky, and there’s not an easy answer – but here are a few options:

1. Find Common Ground (preferably with something they’ve seen on Netflix):

“Well, you know how you really like Sherlock , and the first few episodes were really awesome but occasionally they have weird ones like the one with the giant hound or the episode where Sherlock falls in love but not really but maybe? And how you’ll watch any new episode that comes out because you’re so in love with the characters, even though they frequently disappoint and befuddle you with their actions? I’m like that, but with cars.”

God, that Baskervilles episode was stupid. They drove a nice Defender, though.

2. Gussy it up:

“I enjoy exploring the dynamic slip angle characteristics of heterogeneous tires made in B.R.I.C nation-states during simulated urban skidpad demonstrations under adverse atmospheric conditions.”

Transcend your childish hobby by making it sound like an engineering practical. The above sentence is wholly more impressive than “I drift my shitty Nissan with mismatched tires in the Best Buy parking lot when it’s raining outside.” They still won’t understand you, but they probably won’t ask any more questions.

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“I love… well, I loved cars, but their new shit is too corporate and unfeeling. I guess you could say I appreciate the craftsmanship and aesthetics of post-War Western European auto design. No, not like Lamborghinis – well, maybe the early Gandini era, but not the nauseating hulks of greed and excess like the 5000QV.”

Cars are probably something you wouldn’t understand , but I’ll make a condescending attempt to dumb it down. What’s that, Jalopnik reader? You weren’t there during the DAF vs. FAF era? Well, I guess a name like Ash78 means nothing to you.

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“I like reading about the mechanics and engineering behind cars, and I’m also a fan of auto racing and sometimes participate in sanctioned events. The development of the automobile, though it occupies an admittedly small epoch of human history, has had a remarkable impact in the fields of design, manufacturing, and technical innovation. ”

Boom. Period, point blank. It covers all the bases: what you like, why you like it, and why it’s worth liking. There’s something to be said about a straightforward answer that… oh, you’re looking at your phone. Oh, haha, yeah, I love those memes too, mmhmm. Why don’t you tell me more about your trip to Coachella?

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“I like football.”

It’s not a complete lie. Being a car enthusiast in the coming years will be akin to life as a Chicago Bears fan in the Cutler era: you love something with an illustrious history that is frequently let down by the decisions made at the top, with nary a bright spot on the horizon.

In all honesty, it’s a Sisyphean task. To borrow a phrase from my alma mater: “From the outside looking in you can’t understand it, and from the inside looking out you can’t explain it.” Thank God you can fall back on your charming wit and Jon Hamm-like good looks to win friends and influence people, right?

Right?

BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires > Jim Zeigler 05/09/2015 at 10:12

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Something I’ve found is that non-car people get a much closer bead on what to do and say when I say that I like old cars (which luckily I do).

People tend to say ‘I had this old Rover SD1 back in the late 70s. Gorgeous thing, went like the clappers. Lets see if I can find a photo’.

I think if you like older cars, then it’s a much more relatable experience. People of all walks of life have a lot more to say and think about them than the latest hypercar. That’s something they’ve probably only seen on the front page of a calendar on the shelf in the petrol station. A Spitfire or a 240Z of a Jag XJ is something their dad used to own, or they used to have back in the day and they wish they’d never got rid of :)

scoob > Jim Zeigler 05/09/2015 at 11:31

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“oh, you’re looking at your phone. Oh, haha, yeah, I love those memes too, mmhmm. Why don’t you tell me more about your trip to Coachella?”

No other combination of words will ever be as true as these.

ViperGuy21 > Jim Zeigler 05/09/2015 at 12:23

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Great article man!

Roadster Man > Jim Zeigler 05/09/2015 at 12:27

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Oh shit, I just realized that I have been choosing #3 this whole time...

Still seems like the best choice.

Mosqvich > Jim Zeigler 05/09/2015 at 12:28

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I hate football.

dogisbadob > Jim Zeigler 05/09/2015 at 13:22

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pretty colors on the fittings

dr861 > Jim Zeigler 05/09/2015 at 13:27

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I think this isn’t a bad way to explain it, but the problem is that most people start to glaze over after you’ve told them you like cars. Explaining further only makes them more disinterested. I usually just say I’m a car guy, then they say something like “Oh yea?”, and I follow that with “yea.” End of convo. Especially in NYC.

wiffleballtony > Jim Zeigler 05/09/2015 at 15:19

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With a humorous cat related tshirt.

Flat Six > Jim Zeigler 05/09/2015 at 22:43

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I think you hit the nail on the head - telling people that you are into cars is an incomplete sentence. There needs to be a verb. If you are only into a thing it sounds too materialistic (and it is). Tell people what you do, not what you want. Maybe it is watching F1, or collecting models, or autocrossing, or car detailing. Adding a “-ing” will connect better with somebody who may understand a different sport, a different collectable, or different hobby.

JR1 > Jim Zeigler 05/10/2015 at 23:24

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Can’t believe this isn’t on the FP nice article

Michael Zaite > Jim Zeigler 05/14/2015 at 16:36

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If they’re disinterested why am I trying to explain it to them?

Ark > Jim Zeigler 06/02/2015 at 18:28

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Do take that out before you start that engine.

Ark > Jim Zeigler 06/02/2015 at 18:31

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“From the outside looking in you can’t understand it, and from the inside looking out you can’t explain it.”

Which is why I typically go for the sixth option, which is “Fuck you people, I’m going for a drive.”

Texican > BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires 06/02/2015 at 19:04

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This is the key for me. My personal sweet spot is machines from the 60s and 70s, and most people can at least understand the appeal. They also get that it's more of a passion thing than a money obsession.

BigAsn > Jim Zeigler 06/02/2015 at 19:25

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When explaining why I love cars, I just tell them I love machines. Which is true. And then I quickly, but non-chalontly follow with, “like my dick”. That usually brings the conversation to a close.

dieselectric > BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires 06/02/2015 at 19:40

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Definitely - that is why I say : “ I like working on old cars”

Then when they ask why I own a 30-year old Peugeot, it makes a lot of sense. Also, it gets me out of answering too many questions about why their check engine light is on.

JRRREmCee > Jim Zeigler 06/02/2015 at 19:53

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I always like to bring up another interest when people ask me what I am into. Example: “I like cars & Star Wars”. Then the person who asks the question can choose which topic to discuss. It helps weed out people who are not interested in cars.

This was a very nice read by the way.

ScrotumKnots > BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires 06/03/2015 at 00:22

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I don’t tell people what I’m into because no one really gives a shit.

Nick Hodgson > Jim Zeigler 06/03/2015 at 03:00

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I usually start to explain something and the person has either forgotten or drifted into another conversation anyways.

BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires > ScrotumKnots 06/03/2015 at 03:57

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I think you’d be surprised. I thought I was one car guy in a sea of people who didn’t give a toss until I started being a bit more obvious about it.

There’s loads of us out there :)

rithsleeper > Jim Zeigler 06/03/2015 at 07:05

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First off, I second the “I hate football”. Second, I find that if I’m meeting someone who I will never see again or a friend of a friend, don’t waste your time. Just isn’t worth it. However if you can see a potential friendship or will see them often I never tell them about my hobbies. I start with work and focus on family and commonality. I let them push and pry till eventually they find out about my hobbies from someone else and inquire. Then i can come at it from a “ well if you want to know” point of view. Usually having someone else who they respect or like already saying “this dude is worth listening to” gets them primed and excited.

I usually hide my car stuff from potential new girlfriends and casually show up to meet them on my motorcycle, then they say “I didn’t know you had a bike?!” Then I say yea, I have a few toys... I try changing the subject immediately back to them and then I’ll show up in my corvette another time, then they are hooked and I can lay it all down. If they reject the interest after that, I move on. Definitely not someone I have any interest to be around ever.

Did I mention I hate football? Yea. I do. And fantasy football is just dungeons and dragons for jocks....

thebigbossyboss > Jim Zeigler 06/03/2015 at 07:30

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I say “I enjoy fixing old cars”....and this gets me out of the double whammy, which is I am a car guy with an ordinary old ass beater. Well okay. Not quite ordinary. But nothing special.

carzcarzcarz > Jim Zeigler 06/03/2015 at 10:12

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Still don’t get the craze for sports. At least with motorsports, I can and do partake in similar activities that I see on TV. How many football/basketball/etc... fans play the sport they love to watch?

su1ac0 > Jim Zeigler 06/03/2015 at 10:30

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Part of me thinks that, in the US, the Fast and Furious franchise went a long way to discredit anyone who self identifies as a “car” person.

For like a decade, all anyone ever saw of “car people” was idiot teens and people-who-still-think-they-are-teens doing nothing but buying up shitbox rundown old imports on ebay/CL, spraypainting them the most obnoxious colors ever, loudest exhaust they can find (that’s the only criteria!), and a huge wing with stickers. Being absolute douchebags on city streets and trying to romanticize “street” racing. It was the absolute worst of the worst of the worst of all car culture, and that’s all we got to see for nearly 10 years. I feel like it’s only now starting to clean up.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires 06/03/2015 at 10:45

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Yeah, my z gets people telling all kinds of stories! Lots of women who had boyfriends with one, can be uncomfortable...

CalzoneGolem > Jim Zeigler 06/03/2015 at 10:50

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Nah, I just like to tell them I like cars and let it play out. It is far more entertaining that way.

Hoonidan > dr861 06/03/2015 at 11:06

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I’m a car guy in NYC, I’ll talk to you.

DWFMBA > Jim Zeigler 06/04/2015 at 12:44

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But I don’t like football, do you want me to lie?